I just spent the afternoon with the most beautiful bride-to-be, Brynn! She is so gorgeous, it's impossible to get a bad shot of her. We traveled all the way out to SaltAir and were blessed with the most beautiful weather, and the most awful smell! The Great Salt Lake surely does stink! I wish I would have thought to grab my camera so I could snap a few shots of her. She looked absolutely incredible! (Brynn, does it hurt to be so beautiful?)
I've really loved the time I've been able to spend with my sister over the past few weeks. Her life is crazy busy with all the wedding plans, but I've enjoyed being a part of some of the craziness. I'm blessed to have five wonderful sisters, four who are close by and one who's left the comforts of home to join her hubby far, far, away. Life with girls is certainly great, and certainly crazy, and sometimes absolutely insane (when we are all home our hormones are connected and we have a week of PMS among ALL of us), but I certainly love it. It's interesting to look back on our childhood and our lives nowadays and contemplate how we all turned out the way we did. One would think that growing up in a life of girls would promote serious communication, heart-pouring, feeling-sobbing, skills, but this seems to be one of the area I am lacking in, and in talking with one of my sisters, it seems to be common throughout the fam. Why is it so hard to express my/our feelings?
My hubby has wonderful communication skills and he's helped me to express those feelings that can be so hard to express. But I still struggle sometimes. It's not hard for me to express my happy feelings, it's the feelings of insecurity, sadness, unsureness, doubt, depression, etc. that I find hard to share. It's almost like I have to put on a face/facade to the world around me that says I'm always happy. I am usually a happy person, but why can it be so hard to express the sad part of ourselves? Is it because we feel so vulnerable in those stages? I'm convinced that the only way someone can really know me and I can really know them is if we can share our true selves with one another...the happy self and the sad self. It's not a shame to be sad, depressed, lonely, insecure, upset, angry, mad, etc...everyone feels that way...we just have to learn to express these feelings in a healthy way.
I'm not sure why this post turned into a rambling about my feelings and inability to express them, but I admire those people around me who let their true selves shine and who accept me and my true self. I hope I can learn to let down my barrier a bit to let people in to see who I truly am. I tend to let people see what it is I think they want to see in myself instead of truly just being myself. Maybe as I learn to express myself, I can find out who I really am and let everyone see what I'm really made of.
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